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Charmed Rewitch: Episode 13 – The one where the Charmed Ones are dead

It’s been over 10 years since the Halliwells hung up their brooms, so I’m heading back to San Francisco to see if Charmed‘s special brand of supernatural entertainment still casts a spell…

Episode: 8.01 ‘Still Charmed & Kicking’
Writer: Brad Kern
Director: James L Conway
Original air date: 25 September 2005

stillcharmedThe Charmed Ones are dead. Or are they? Coming into the eighth and ultimately final season of Charmed, there was a strong sense of, well, witch way now? Back at the end of season seven, showrunner Brad Kern had no idea if the sisters would be returning because their network, the WB, wouldn’t give them an answer either way. Kern was forced to write a quasi series finale (‘Something Wicca This Way Goes…?’) in which Piper, Phoebe and Paige faked their deaths, changed their appearances, and strolled off into the sunset with Leo.

If Charmed had ended there, it would have been a perfectly decent sayonara for the Halliwells. If anybody had earned the right to a demon-free existence, it was them. But then the WB gave Charmed a final hour reprieve and, as a lovely little “welcome back!” present, slashed the show’s budget. Which left Kern and his team in a bit of a pickle. How do you continue a show that you’ve already wrapped up?

The answer lies in this surprisingly strong and intriguing season opener, which sees the Halliwells sticking with their fake death plan, and now posing as their fictional cousins, Jenny, Julie and Jo. After a memorial service at the manor, they decide to ditch their destiny and embrace their newly simplified lives, creating new identities that allow them to stick a pin in monster hunting, seemingly for good.

Happily, despite the new identities, it’s still Holly Marie Combs, Alyssa Milano and Rose McGowan in the lead (although an early version of the script envisioned new actresses taking over, gasp!), and one of the great joys of this five-episode arc is watching the show’s stars cut loose and have fun with stories that keep the demon-slaying at a distance.

Charmed has always been a show that bounces back after a blow: just see its dark and complex fourth season, which actually benefitted from the loss of Shannen Doherty. The same applies here. There’s huge potential in the demon-free arc and the writers waste no time diving into the real-life ramifications of the girls’ decision.

Not only do we see how that decision affects the sisters, but also the underworld, where ‘yoof’ demons are planning an uprising. Meanwhile, Homeland Security leaves Agent Murphy (Brandon Quinn) to keep an eye on Halliwell Manor. Stir in a new witch Billie (Kaley Cuoco), and you have an extremely busy season premiere.

13Somehow, though, it works. ‘Still Charmed & Kicking’ is a breath of fresh air, partly because this feels like completely new terrain. The sisters have never turned their back so completely on magic, and it’s huge fun watching them attempt to navigate their newly demon-free lives. Grams’ reaction to the destiny ditch is brilliantly haughty (and Jennifer Rhodes is always a delight), while it’s interesting that Paige is hit hardest by guilt. Forced to give up her calling as a whitelighter-witch, she discovers it’s not quite that simple, because she’s constantly being summoned by a fresh young witch.

So, yes, enter Billie. A peppy proto Buffy, she’s the most Marmite character to ever appear on Charmed. Her introduction is played just the right side of enigmatic and, at this point in the show’s life, the idea of new witch blood is welcome. It is, of course, exactly four years after Charmed last introduced a new long-term spell-caster. Billie plus side: it’s great to have telekinesis back in the show. Downside: Cuoco would struggle with the more dramatic scenes to come, having been raised a bubbly sitcom kid.

OK, so Billie’s presence inevitably riled fans. As the season progressed, her storyline diverted a lot of focus away from the Halliwells. But this season’s eventual shortcomings can’t be blamed on her and, in this episode at least, she’s a fun addition who injects fresh energy into proceedings. Meanwhile, those budget cuts barely register beyond the absence of Darryl, although it’s odd to think about where the money DID go. Did I mention this is also the episode where Paige transforms herself into “celebrity guest” Janice Dickinson? Welcome to the new world.

Missed an episode? Catch up on the other Charmed Rewitches here.

Charmed Rewitch: Episode 12 – The one where Piper falls for a dead guy

It’s been over 10 years since the Halliwells hung up their brooms, so I’m heading back to San Francisco to see if Charmed‘s special brand of supernatural entertainment still casts a spell…

Episode: 1.04 ‘Dead Man Dating’
Writer: Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Director: Richard Compton

deadman3Oh, hi, Charmed, it’s nice to meet you. Four episodes into the show’s wobbly first season, Charmed finally found its groove with this emotional humdinger, which mixed a ghost plot with moments of genuine warmth and romance as Piper (Holly Marie Combs) falls for dead guy Mark (John Cho). Killed by a Chinatown gang member, Mark is attempting to outrun an ancient Chinese soul collector when he stumbles across the Charmed Ones and begs them for their help.

The pairing of Combs and Cho is a big reason this episode works so well. Charmed wasn’t always the most subtle of shows, but this episode perfectly underplays the tragedy of Piper and Mark’s romance. Although unable to touch each other, they share an intense connection that goes beyond the physical, and there’s a lovely scene in which Mark passes his hand across Piper’s face and asks her to imagine she can feel him.

Right from the start, Combs was the heart of Charmed, and that’s never more apparent than in this episode. She ups the emotional stakes hugely, and there’s a real sense of peril that a lot of Charmed episodes lack – Piper cares so much about Mark that we desperately want him to be OK. And just when the day’s been won and you think you can relax, there’s a beautifully delicate funeral scene in which Mark joins his father in the afterlife. Piper’s tearful “leave it to me to fall for a dead guy” is the perfect coda.

In fact, the humour is spot on throughout ‘Dead Man Dating’. While Prue’s boring Andy saga creeps its way to an early grave, Phoebe takes a job as a hotel’s resident psychic. Dressed up in a very I Dream Of Jeanie outfit, her poster (‘The Amazing Phoebe’) is brilliant, and her attempts to save a man who doesn’t want to be saved are laugh-out-loud funny – including her nonchalant confession that she broke off a key in his door so he couldn’t leave his room. Her hit and run premonition was also so impressive it made it into the show’s opening credits.

deadman‘Dead Man Walking’ is where Charmed started to forge its own identity away from the X-Files-esque ‘monster of the week’ premise and Buffy-aping wisecracks. Even showrunner Brad Kern admits they “found” the show when they made this episode. “We were watching the rough cuts in the screening room and went, ‘That’s it! That’s the show!’” he said in 2006. “It was romantic, supernatural, emotional, funny, quirky — it was really an eye-opener. From that point, we tried to figure out how to replicate that vibe going forward.”

You can see why. There’s a confidence to ‘Dead Man Dating’ that makes it feel like a different show to the episodes around it (after this, we got dodgy dream episode ‘Dream Sorcerer’ and bridal misfire ‘The Wedding From Hell’.) Tonally, visually and in its nuanced performances, this is elevated Charmed. It’s where Charmed became Charmed.

Missed an episode? Catch up on the other Charmed Rewitches here.

My next five reads

Hello fellow book lovers! Hope you’re having a spine-crackingly good 2019 so far. Back in November, I decided to get organised and plan out my next five reads. Having a huge TBR pile is wonderful, but often that means I have no idea what to pick up next, so setting myself a short reading list really helped me hang on to my sanity.

It worked so well, I’m making My Next Five Reads a regular thing, and here’s the second instalment…

Slayer by  Kiersten White
I’ve already read the first four chapters of this series-starter, which is set in the Buffy-verse, and I’m gripped so far. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first big SFF love, and it’s great to be back in that world, albeit in a different corner of it. I’m loving meeting the relatives of characters from the show (yep, there’s a Wyndam-Price), and Nina is an intriguing heroine. Can’t wait to see where this goes!

The Devouring Grey by Christine Lynn Herman
LOOK AT THAT COVER. I’m a sucker for neon at the best of times, and the UK cover for this spooky mystery gives me heart palpitations every time I look at it – and only partly because it reminds me of my favourite John Carpenter film, The Fog. This is Herman’s literary debut, so I have no idea what to expect, but if this really is (as the PR spiel goes) like Riverdale meets Twin Peaks, I may have found my favourite book of 2019. So excited for this one.

Red Snow by Will Dean
The first book in the Sweden-set Tuva Moodyson crime saga, Dark Pines, was on my previous Next Five Reads, and my copy of this – the second book in the series – turned up just in the nick of time. I’m a huge Swedophile, and I really enjoyed the moody(son) atmosphere of Dark Pines, plus Tuva’s a hugely likeable and realistically flawed heroine who I’m excited to learn more about. I’ve resisted reading the blurb because I want to be surprised, but I’m guessing this one’s going gory…

On The Come Up by Angie Thomas
Confession: I’ve had The Hate U Give for over a year and I still haven’t read it, so I’ll probably do a double whammy and read that, followed by On The Come Up, so that I can finally have an opinion on the phenomenon that is Angie Thomas. It’s been pretty remarkable watching Thomas’ profile soar; she’s clearly become the voice of a generation, and I’m excited to find out what she has to say.

Less Then Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
This was a birthday present from my Torn Stubs co-host (shameless plug: Torn Stubs is my movie podcast, please give us a listen!) and I’m both intrigued and nervous to check it out. I’ve never read anything by Ellis, but I have listened to his excellent podcast (he has opinions and he’s not afraid to share them), and I love the movie adaptation of American Psycho, which bodes well for this, his debut. Apparently it was really controversial when it was published in 1985. This could be wild.

Have you read any of these? What are your #nextfivereads? Drop me a comment below or on Twitter @JoshWinning.

Happy reading!

Vicious Rumer: Haunted. Hunted. Cursed. You’ve Never Met Anybody Like Rumer Cross by Joshua Winning @JoshWinning #BookReview #Urban #FictionFantasy

BOOKS FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

39291901BOOK DESCRIPTION

‘An exhilarating read’ – SFX

‘Introduces a truly badass heroine to the world of YA’ – Book Riot

Rumer Cross is cursed. Scraping by working for a dingy London detective agency, she lives in the shadow of her mother, a violent criminal dubbed the ‘Witch Assassin’ whose bloodthirsty rampage terrorised London for over a decade.

Raised by foster families who never understood her and terrified she could one day turn into her mother, Rumer has become detached and self-reliant. But when she’s targeted by a vicious mobster who believes she’s hiding an occult relic, she’s drawn into the very world she’s been fighting to avoid.

Hunted by assassins and haunted by her mother’s dark legacy, Rumer must also confront a terrible truth: that she’s cursed, because no matter what she does, everybody she’s ever grown close to has died screaming.

BUY LINK:

Vicious Rumer: Haunted. Hunted. Cursed. You’ve…

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7 things I learned writing my book during NaNoWriMo 2018

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For the first time ever, I decided that 2018 was my year to tackle National Novel Writing Month . If you’re not familiar with ‘NaNoWriMo’, it’s an annual global event that encourages authors-in-the-making to thrash out the first draft of that novel they keep putting off.

I’ve never seriously attempted NaNo before, so this year I decided to just DO IT, partly because I’m a glutton for punishment, and partly because I had an idea for a witchy novel (oh yes) that I was desperate to try on for size.

In all honesty, 30 days later, I’m a mess. But it ended up being an… interesting challenge. I only just managed to hit that 50k on the final day of NaNo, but I’m so glad I took the plunge because now I have 50k of a new novel. Here are all the things I learned…

1. A little planning goes a long way
There’s that saying, ‘You’re a planner or a panter.’ In reality, I fall somewhere in the middle. I can usually scratch out a few chapters of something before I’m chewing on bricks, but it’s always useful to have a roadmap. There’s nothing more terrifying than a blank page and a blinking cursor.

So I spent the first two days of NaNo writing character profiles, planning plot beats and generally immersing myself in the world of the book. Although it meant that, at first, I was writing zero words towards my word count, those days were invaluable in helping me figure out my story – and then formulate a skeletal outline so I always had some idea what to write.

2. Finding time is difficult – but prioritising writing is worth it
We’re all busy. We all have to food shop and brush our teeth and sometimes even work. We might occasionally think about seeing our friends and family. Those are all things we have to do, but that’s the great thing about NaNo – for once, you have to write. If you don’t, you’re not going to birth that book baby you decided to have.

There’s something special about carving out the time to write. Making it a priority. And then seeing what you’re really capable of.

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3. When in doubt, just write
I’m a perfectionist. A part of me doesn’t want to even think about writing unless I know I’m crafting pure word-gold.

Of course, ‘perfect’ is notoriously hard-won, and at the start of NaNo, I really had to give myself the ‘bullshit talk’. As in, “This is probably going to be bullshit, but that’s OK. You can make it better later.” That really helped me to loosen up on the perfection leash and just write. My motto: Write badly. Edit goodly.

4. It helps you focus
I’m guilty of being a bit of a fair-weather writer. I often get intensely interested in a project, and as soon as it becomes difficult for whatever reason, be that plot or character, I find a new shiny toy to play with.

NaNo cuts that bullshit right to the bone. You choose a project and you stick with it until the bitter end (of the month), and oh how bitter you may be, but that sort of commitment is exactly what I need. No bailing, no getting distracted by something newer. This is your project for the month and you have to battle through no matter what.

5. Don’t compare!
Some people are sprinters, some people are long-distance runners. Others are amblers. It’s all good. Although it’s tempting to check in on how other writers are doing, or begrudge them their rejoicing when they’re all “I wrote 50k in a week!”, you’ll only drive yourself crazy.

Celebrate your milestones (NaNo handily gives you badges every couple of thousand words that you can flash around if you so wish), and celebrate the milestones other people reach, too. We’re in this together!

6. Quitting is oh-so tempting
Writing is exhausting, especially when you’re using all of your normal ‘down time’ to do it. By week three, I was sorely tempted to jack it all in.

Luckily, I have an amazing support network – my boyfriend (hi, Thom!), friends and other writers were all great cheerleaders who encouraged me along the way. So no. Don’t quit. You can do it. It may be painful but it feels SO GOOD when you finally hit 50k.

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7. You don’t have to finish a whole book
THIS IS THE BIGGIE. You’re writing 50k, but most books average out at 80k, so it’s unlikely you’ll have a full first draft by the end of NaNo (unless you set a different target or had different objectives, like redrafting an existing project).

About 20k into my witch book, I knew the first draft was going to be way over 50k. That disheartened me at first because I knew that even if I ‘won’ NaNo, I still wouldn’t have an entire finished draft to work on.

In the end, though, that was sort of freeing. I decided to just write whichever scenes I fancied and fill in the gaps later. So even though I don’t have much of the third act written, I do have the final chapter done. And I have two thirds of a pretty solid draft. WHOOP!

All right, that was me, now what about you?

Did you take part in NaNoWriMo 2018? How did you do? Let me know below!

My next five reads

Hello fellow word lovers! How are you? Well, I hope. Me? I’m dreadful, thanks for reminding me. Kidding! It’s November, so I’m currently in the thick of NaNoWriMo 2018, which I’ve been really enjoying (19,000 words and counting), but pairing that with two weekends outside of the UK plus full-time work has kicked my ass slightly. Yes, I’ve come down with the fabled NaNo lurgy.

So while I take a break from trying to be hyper-creative, I thought I’d take a look at the next five books I have lined up on my TBR. Come with me, if you will…

The Cheerleaders by Kara Thomas
The premise for this book had me at ‘dead cheerleaders’. (Anybody remember Heroes and “save the cheerleader, save the world”? Those were the days.) The Cheerleaders is Kara Thomas’ third book, and has been described as “a little bit Riverdale, a little bit Veronica Mars“, so of course I couldn’t possibly say no. It seems to have a little bit of a Buffy and Point Horror vibe going for it, too, so I’m IN.

Last Time I Lied by Riley Sager
This author’s last book, Final Girls, consumed my life for roughly two days. I couldn’t put it down. (If you haven’t read it yet, go get it! You won’t be disappointed.) So I’m really excited to check out his next one, which I’ve slightly been putting off, because the copy I have is an enormous hardback, but I’m going to stop being such a wuss and get on with it. I don’t know anything about the plot because I want to be surprised, but if Sager’s previous book is anything to go by, this should be a fun, twisty ride.

Rosewater by Tade Thompson
I’ve seen buzz about this everywhere, and even though I’m not a huge science-fiction reader (I’m more on the fantasy spectrum), the premise for Rosewater is really intriguing and sort of reminded me of The Bone Season (in a good way). It’s come along at a time when black voices and stories are happily enjoying a huge surge in popularity, particularly within the realms of sci-fi and fantasy, and I’m excited to find out what has made people rave about this so much.

Dark Pines by Will Dean
Will Dean is enjoying huge success with this book, which is awesome – I’m only sorry I’ve not got to it sooner. But I finally have a gorgeous paperback copy ready and waiting (it has one of the coolest inner-front-cover quote spreads I’ve ever seen), and I can’t wait to meet Tuva Moodyson. If you know me, you’ll know I’m a Scandi nut (I even taught myself Swedish), so I’m really looking forward to reading this.

Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix
Grady Hendrix is my number one at the moment. I inhaled My Best Friend’s Exorcism and We Sold Our Souls, and I just can’t get enough of his lean but colourful writing, and his thoroughly lifelike characters. Somehow, though, Horrorstör completely passed me by, so I’m going to rectify that in the next few weeks. The book’s laid out like an IKEA catalogue, which is genius. But then, this is Grady Hendrix we’re talking about, so OF COURSE IT IS.

Have you read any of these? What are you sticking in your eyeballs next? Let me know in the comments below!

#HalloweenFrights Day 8: SJI Holliday on why she ain’t afraid of no ghosts

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It’s the final day of #HalloweenFrights, boooooo! But what a creepy ride it’s been. Thank you so much to all of the fabulous authors who have contributed to the series, and succeeded in giving me nightmares for AN ENTIRE WEEK.

Today, to celebrate the fact that it is, in fact, All Hallow’s Eve, author SJI Holliday wants to talk to us about ghosts. And it’s something she knows a thing or two about – her new book The Lingering (Orenda, out now on ebook/audio, paperback on 15 November) is all about spooks. Take it away, Susi…

A recent survey by Groupon uncovered that 60% of Americans claim to have seen a ghost; 40% claim that their pets have seen one. Women are 20% more likely to have seen one than men, but men who have seen one are twice as likely to run away screaming on encountering one. Additionally, one in three claims to have lived or stayed in a haunted house.

So, with that in mind, its’ no big surprise that Netflix has decided to milk this phenomenon for all it’s worth – with the new version of The Haunting of Hill House taking a prime slot on their home screen.

But ghosts are nothing new. Ghost stories have been told since people first sat around campfires, trying to find ways to entertain themselves, and to explain the unexplainable. In my opinion, nothing has changed.

People still need to find ways to explain what they don’t understand – others may find comfort in the thought of an afterlife, as a place for their loved ones to carry on – personally it’s this element that scares me the most. The idea of waking up to find a dead relative standing by my bed, coming to let me know that they’re ok, would not make me feel ok one little bit.

I love ghost stories. I love ghost tours. I would love to go on a ghost hunt, but that’s taking it too far – I don’t think my heart could handle it, and I am convinced I would return with a Cruella DeVil style white streak in my hair. Forever haunted.

I decided to weave a ghost story into my latest psychological thriller, The Lingering, purely to entertain myself – to see if I could scare myself sufficiently while writing it – and to see if I could bring something new to the table. My two favourite supernatural tales are The Woman in Black and The Lovely Bones. The first, for the constant state of dread it invokes, and the second, for the emotionally gut-punching sadness.

I’ve used a common trope as a set-up – a haunted house – but I like to think I have subverted it. The haunted house is an old asylum, which now houses a spiritual commune – but it’s not the commune that’s ‘bad’ – it’s not a cult… it’s the inhabitants that turn things on its head. One of the main characters is a wannabe ghost hunter, who despite her best efforts, has not yet managed to see or even sense anything untoward, but she remains convinced that there is something unseen lurking (or ‘lingering’) within the walls. The other main character is an ex-psychiatric nurse and a sceptic – so, you can guess what might happen there.

Personally, I describe myself as a ghost agnostic. There is just too much that people have felt and seen for it to be completely inside our heads, isn’t there? Two people told me they’d seen a ghost in the house I once lived in. The both saw her at different times, months apart, both explained her in the same way without either of them knowing about the other’s account.

I would very much like some hard evidence. But ideally not first-hand…. #massivescaredycat

Thanks Susi. You can follow her on Twitter here, or check out her website here. And that’s a wrap! This week has been a complete whirlwind and I’m thrilled that people have been enjoying hearing from some of the best authors in books. Thanks for following along, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Have you enjoyed #HalloweenFrights? Want to see more things like this on the site? Let me know on Twitter here!

#HalloweenFrights Day 7: CJ Tudor reveals her horror origin story

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It’s day seven of #HalloweenFrights, and today I’m drawing the bedsheets up to my nose as CJ Tudor prepares to chill us with her horror origin story.

CJ wrote this year’s bestselling smash-hit The Chalk Man (Penguin), and I’ve just been lucky enough to read a proof of her new novel, The Taking Of Annie Thorne (Penguin, February 2019), which was even more gripping and scrape-under-skin unsettling. So here’s how CJ became horror’s number one fan…

I first realised that I liked to be scared around the age of eight.

I grew up on Enid Blyton – the magic Faraway Tree, Famous Five and Mallory Towers – but suddenly I found myself perusing the library for something different… something less scones and ginger ale and more spooks and chills.

There wasn’t a lot on offer in the children’s section back then so one of the first scary books I read was Hamlyn’s Book of True Ghost Stories Fact or Fiction. It gave me nightmares for weeks but I still found myself drawn back to it again and again.

Around the same age I’d go around to my friend Kirsty’s house to watch videos. My parents didn’t have a video recorder but Kirsty’s parents had a Betamax (oh yes!) plus they were fairly relaxed about what we watched. It was here, curled up on beanbags together that I was introduced to An American Werewolf in London, Poltergeist and, later, The Evil Dead.

However, my true revelation came when, aged twelve – and now armed with my dad’s library card – I picked up a battered copy of Christine. That was it. I was addicted. I sought out more and more King, and Herbert, Koontz and Barker quickly followed.

But WHY did I love horror so much?

I think all kids are attracted to dark things, the lure of the forbidden. Children are also pretty revolting. They’re fascinated by bodily functions, blood and poo and scabs. There’s always one child who takes a delight in pulling the legs off grasshoppers (my friend, Kirsty, again). And we’re brought up on stories about wicked witches, monsters and ghosts.

I was also a teen during the golden age of horror. King, Herbert and Koontz ruled. The garish covers glared out from every book store. Terrifying but oh so tempting. And then there were the films – Halloween, Carrie, The Shining.

Horror informed what I read, watched and wrote. I continued to love horror even when it fell out of fashion. I remember, when I first began submitting my work to agents, one telling me that my mix of creepiness and crime was not what publishers wanted. Horror was a dirty word in the book world.

I’m thrilled that that seems to be turning around. After all, horror has always remained hugely popular in TV and film. People like to be scared. Horror enables you to peek through your fingers at something bad from the safety of your own sofa (or behind it). The monsters and the gore are contained. And usually, good wins out.

Horror was last big in the ’80s – a time when there was a lot of fear in the world. Nuclear holocaust, the cold war. I think it’s no coincidence that it is making a resurgence now, a time that’s once again troubling and uncertain.

When there are very real human monsters and conflicts that are not so easily resolved there’s a certain reassurance in watching a man in a hockey mask meet his comeuppance at the hands of a gutsy heroine.

So, in a weird way, I suppose I love horror because I find it comforting. And just a bit scary.

Thanks so much for that, CJ. You can follow CJ on Twitter here. Sadly, tomorrow is the final day of #HalloweenFrights, boooo. But don’t worry, we’re going out with a bang as another of my favourite horror authors descends on the site with ghostly goodies.

Have you enjoyed the series? Want to see more things like this on the site? Let me know on Twitter here!

#HalloweenFrights Day 6: James Brogden uncovers the history of the hag

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It’s day six of #HalloweenFrights, and today I’m handing over the reins to author James Brogden, whose books Hekla’s Children and The Hollow Tree both deal in frightening folklore. His new book, The Plague Stones (Titan, May 2019), delves into the history of the traditional hag. Here, he gives us a little history lesson and paints a very creepy picture. Prepare to shudder…

She shuffles along the empty country lane in her rough-spun cloak and her red skirt. From the cottages in the valley behind her rises smoke and the weeping of grief-stricken villagers. In the windows of the houses in the valley ahead of her gleam warm lights as their inhabitants rest comfortably, unaware of who approaches their homes. She is bent, tired beyond measure, because she’s killed so many and her work is nowhere near done.

Her name is Pesta, and she is the Plague Hag.

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‘She Covers the Whole Country’ by Theodor Kittelsen

The British landscape abounds with her sisters. Stray too close to one of those dark, weed-carpeted pools in the lonely northern countryside and you might get caught by Jenny Greenteeth, Nelly Longarms or Peg Powler. Don’t let your children stray in the neighbourhood of Dane Hills in Leicester, because even though it’s been developed into suburbia there used to be a cave which was the home of Black Annis, the blue-faced crone with iron talons for hands who would drain her victims’ blood, eat their flesh and flay their skins for her clothes – and she might still be there.

Even at home you’re not safe. You might awaken from a nightmare, breathless and paralysed – that’s because a hag has been sitting on your chest, squeezing the life out of you. Even the word nightmare itself comes from her, because the Old English word for a hag is mæra.

The misogynistic connotations of the word in its modern usage cannot be ignored, however, and the historical treatment of women accused of withcraft is nothing short of the worst kind of persecution, torture, and murder. But hags, properly speaking, are not witches. They’re more ancient than that, encompassing something wider and deeper. It may be that they’ve simply evolved from cautionary tales told to stop children from straying into dangerous places – caves, rivers, forests. Or the hag might be a folk-memory of the worship of more ancient pagan goddesses – the merciless and destructive side of nature which goes hand in hand with the life-giving and nurturing. Like most folk tales, a hag’s origin is difficult to pin down.

What is interesting about Pesta is that she is neither a cautionary tale nor a diminished goddess, and her origin is very specific. She came into existence in Norway as merchant ships from England spread the Black Death, wreaking a destruction so terrible that it couldn’t be attributed to anything as ‘normal’ as the Devil, and so a new evil was created. It is a rare and sobering insight into the process of mythogenesis, by which humans populate the world with figures of legend sprung from our hopes and fears.

When Pesta arrives at that village she will be carrying either a rake or a broom, and the villagers had better pray that it’s the rake, since some of them might then escape through its teeth. If it’s the broom, then whole communities will be swept away, and nobody will survive.

Thanks James! Make sure you follow James on Twitter here, and if you want more sleepless nights, you can pre-order his new book The Plague Stones here. Tomorrow’s guest post is a bit of a doozy as I welcome one of the year’s bestselling authors, who’ll be revealing just why she loves horror so much

#HalloweenFrights Day 5: Sally Green on real-life Halloween horrors and the terror of Monsters, Inc.

HalloweenFrights (4)

It’s day five of #HalloweenFrights, and I’m sort of quaking in my boots as author Sally Green swings by – but mostly just because I’m a huge fan. Sally wrote one of my favourite ever series, The Half Bad Trilogy, which saw her putting a very dark, very addictive modern spin on witchcraft.

Given how gritty her stuff can be, I’m sort of surprised to discover Sally’s a self-confessed wimp, but then maybe she’s just saying that to lull us all in to a false sense of security…

What do you do on Halloween?
These days. Get a big pumpkin (I used to grow them but it’ll be shop bought this year) the weirder shaped the better, carve it out, put a tea light in and put it by the front door. Roast squash for soup or stew*. Stay in and have some sweets for kids if they come trick or treating

A few years ago. I used to go trick or treating with other parents (mainly mums, let’s be honest here) and a gang of young kids (I suspect mainly ours but they could have belonged to anyone). Main horror – how much sugar a five year old in a ghost outfit can get through. Main fear – the five year old in flimsy ghost outfit will die of exposure in the rain and cold.

*My only really scary moment was mistakenly eating a bit of a pumpkin stalk and getting a horrible allergic reaction (I’m not allergic to anything else as far as I know).

Have you ever scared yourself while writing?
I’ve cried at the sad stories I’ve written, I’ve laughed at my own jokes (because they are just hilarious), but I’ve never scared myself, possibly because I know what will happen or at least I’m in control. It’s the unknown that’s scary and I’m the writer so I have control.

What’s really scary about writing – missing deadlines, my editor and plot holes/mistakes that are only spotted when the book has gone to print.

jawsScariest thing you’ve ever read?
OK. I have to own up here – I’M A WIMP. I don’t read scary books and I don’t watch scary movies BECAUSE THEY’RE SCARY! I take no pleasure in being scared BECAUSE IT’S SCARY. I learnt this lesson at an early age. I read Jaws when I was young and watched the movie and I’ve never really enjoyed swimming in the sea since then BECAUSE IT’S SCARY.

Most terrifying word(s) in the English language?
“Let’s go into the haunted building.” (Actually the most stupid and terrifying.)

However, in films the words are never as scary as the music – if there was no music most scary movies would be fine. I’ve mentioned Jaws – I hear that music even if I go for a paddle in the sea at Blackpool. Even nice music can be made scary though – Reservoir Dogs manages to make Stealers Wheel terrifying for goodness sake (in the chopping off the ear scene).

Freddy or Jason?
I suspect these are scary people and I won’t even Google them to find out who they are.

What’s the biggest misconception about genre writers?
Probably that children’s writers like children. You don’t really think I have these sweets here for kids do you? They’re just here to lure them in and down to my cellar…

Witches: scary or misunderstood?
Totally misunderstood. They are trying to help and only put a hex on you if you deserve it. Though, I admit, in my books some of them are pretty nasty, and violent and power mad.

Earliest memory of being scared?
Vaguely remember hiding behind the sofa (yes, really) for Doctor Who. I hated the voices of the Daleks and could never understand why people didn’t just flee upstairs or over some rough terrain.

Weirdest nightmare you’ve ever had?
Dreams, nightmares… they’re all weird. Let’s be honest here, the scariest thing ever is when a friend says, ‘Let me tell you about this amazing dream I had.’ And you know you have to feign interest for at least ten minutes.

Somebody painted I KNOW on my front door. Was it you?
Do I need my lawyer present for this interview?

Most underrated horror movie/book?
I think all scary/horror movies and books should be avoided, but some sneak up on you like Monsters, Inc. – the monster that goes invisible, voiced by Steve Buscemi, is terrifying to young children (glad to report that I wasn’t scared by this monster, so I’m not a total wimp).

randall

A guy calls to ask what’s your favourite scary movie. What do you do?
Hang up. I do not accept cold calls especially from weirdos who are selling subscriptions to ScaryMoviesRUs.

You have a crystal ball: what does your horror future look like?
I’m desperately trying to finish the second book of the Smoke Thieves series. It’s got some scary naked demons and some scary misogynistic men, but no one goes into a haunted house (though actually they do go into the demon world, which isn’t that smart a thing to do).

Thanks so much for stopping by, Sally! Tomorrow, we’ll be hearing from a horror author who knows a thing or two about effed-up folktales. Until then…