Tuesday’s Tips For Conquering The World…

Courtesy of… Superman Returns (2006)

DO – Use Kryptonite to build a whole new continent, dump wigs in the hands of little girls, cut car breaks, manipulate old ladies, generally act like a camp know-it-all.

DON’T – Stab Superman with Kryptonite and leave him to die in the ocean. HE’S SUPERMAN FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! You better make sure that mofo really is dead before you dispose of the body.

Tuesday’s Tips For Conquering The World…

Courtesy of… Killer Clowns From Outer Space (1988)

DO – Wrap people in deadly, gooey candyfloss, eat innocent bystanders using your shadow-puppet creations and ride around the universe in a massive spinning top.

DON’T – Face off against a cop who has a potentially lethal police badge, end up blowing your own spaceship into smithereens.