20 Lamest Movie Vampires

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1992)

The Vamp: Amilyn (Paul Reubens), the undead manslave to head vamp Lothos (Rutger Hauer).

The Lame: This guy just doesn’t know when to croak. Even when Buffy’s staked him, he hangs around like a crap punchline that can’t find a decent place to die. Lothos is not much better – a cape-wearing preener whose bark is worse than his bite.

How To Make Him Cool: Have David Boreanaz play him.

20 Lamest Rom-Coms

Pretty Woman (1990)

The Romance: Ed (Richard Gere) hires a lovely prostitute in the form of Vivian (Julia Roberts) to keep him company at social events for a whole week. For the princely sum of $3,000.

Most Soul-Destroying Moment: Aside from the whole anti-feminist slant of the thing, Vivian’s trip to a snarky fashion boutique takes the biscuit for blatant emotional manipulation. As Romy and Michelle so succinctly put it, “Oh, boo hoo!”

Redeeming Feature? Roberts is magnetic and lively, even if you do fear Gere will get eaten alive by that giant mouth.